Feeling Burnout From Online Dating

  • Post category:Self
Lady feeling burnout, sitting on pink floor


I’ve used several online dating apps, such as Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel and Bumble, for almost a year and to be very honest, I’m feeling burnout already.

Different Stages, Different Emotions

Browsing, Waiting & Matching

Everyday, I’m judging a few profiles and choosing whether to swipe left or swipe right, what kind of comment to leave, which consumes brain power and contributes to decision fatigue.

And then I wait for people to actually respond to my “like” or comment. Even as a lady, I only get a match once every few weeks. Sometimes I get a couple of matches at once, if I’m lucky.

I feel like I’m always playing the waiting game. I’m waiting for people to open up the app, to see my like or comment (for most apps the free version only allows you to see max 1 daily), and waiting for people to have a glimpse at my profile before matching back. Good thing I’m still young with quite ample time left right? 😂

Chatting & Being Ghosted

When I finally get the match, I will typically repeat the process of introducing myself: where I study, what I study, my future career plans, and where I’m going to start working upon graduation. Be that as it may, self-introduction is simply part of the formality and is an essential process in online dating. However, doing so sometimes makes me feel like a broken recorder and after some time, it becomes a mundane act. At times, I wonder if my true identity is based on the institutions that I’ve been a part of and the qualifications or achievements I hold? 🤔

I get conversations started, but then I hit another hurdle: long reply times and even ghosting. For a moment or a day, the other party is present, and then they are gone, poof. It makes me sad and I ponder over why I encounter this behaviour although I ask questions or send conversation starters to keep the whole chat going. It also gets tiring when I feel like I’m carrying the conversation most of the time and the other party just responds with subpar replies. What’s happening? Are people using the apps just for fun?

Ending Note

Overall, I’m feeling burnout because I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of time and effort. I yearn to have quality interactions and make genuine connections. But I can’t help but think most people on the platforms nowadays are not serious enough. I don’t know the reason behind what’s happening, but what I know is that I’m going to take a break and stop checking the applications as often. Looking forward to a greater peace of mind too!

Thank you for reading!